Creating a new world together

Hello Friends,

I'd like to take this opportunity to share my perspective on what is happening at Integral Institute.  I've been a member of Zaadz since the beginning, but this is the first post that I've made.  This is partly due to being busy and partly due to being lazy...  So I would like to thank everyone for their recent posts and interest in I-I that inspired me to write this.  I would also like to apologize for the length, since it's now all coming out at once.  :-)

First, a bit about me and how I got here.  I've had the privilege, honor, and challenge of working with I-I for almost 4 years now in a variety of different capacities.  I've been the CFO, COO, teacher at our seminars, and several other roles.  I can't say that I've been perfect, but I've done my best to do whatever I can to help the organization develop and grow. 

In this past 4 years, my wife and I also decided to start a family (we now have 2 kids - Sky & Shen) and buy/remodel our first house.  So let's just say it's been a bit intense for a while now.  You know the experience of looking at your to-do list of 10 top priority items for the day, and realizing you only have time to get like 3 or 4 actually done?  Well, that's pretty much been the story of my life these past years.  Thank god for practice. 

But I wouldn't have it any other way, because I love it.  All of it.  I of course love my family.  And I love all of the joy, chaos, turmoil, and opportunities for growth that I get working with I-I.  I think I've always been a bit of an idealist who wants to help make the world a better place, but just never found something that inspired me enough to put all my energy into.  That is, until I discovered Ken's books and I-I. 

I still remember the feeling of when I first read Brief History of Everything, and so much became clear to me.  It was almost like I had all the pieces to a puzzle, but didn't know what the picture was supposed to be.  Then reading the book, it all just seemed to come together inside of me.  I just felt more expanded, open, and able to take in more of the world - because now I could see how it all fit together.  Everything just seemed to make sense to me.

One night I googled Ken, and discovered the I-I site.  I read every word on that site, and stayed awake that night dreaming about the possibility of working at I-I.  I didn't know Ken or anyone at I-I at the time, so I had no way of connecting.  But I like to say that I was so inspired that I was able to access my good karma, because 6 months later I was sitting in Ken's loft, talking to him about his vision for I-I and how I could help.  

Well, it's been quite a roller coaster ride since that time.  And I'd say that the past few weeks have been the most ‘thrilling' yet.  As most of you know, our CEO resigned, along with several other staff members.  These events have spawned a variety of discussion around I-I, and generally speaking, it's pros and cons.   I am choosing not to discuss any specific details from these circumstances.  Rather, I'd like to share my perspective of what I feel is happening, from a more energetic level.

Sometimes at I-I, we like to say that, "we're helping to carve a new groove in the kosmos".  I'm not sure if any of you have tried doing this, but it ain't easy...  There is a lot of subtle resistance, in all 4 quadrants.  At the same time, I can't imagine anything more worthwhile to be dedicated to.  I feel extremely grateful that I have this opportunity to be an agent of evolution.  And along with this, I feel that we bear a huge responsibility to do the best we can.  Because we are not doing this just for ourselves, but for all of us. 

For those of us that have chose/been chosen to play this particular part in the unfolding story of humanity, it feels like we are being purified for this role.  A purification process involves purging out what no longer works, or is appropriate at the next level of growth.  I spoke with my good friend, Brian Johnson, about this one night and he sent me this quote from Rumi:  "This discipline and rough treatment are a furnace to extract the silver from the dross. This testing purifies the gold by boiling the scum away."

It feels to me like I-I, as an organization, is going through this process of purification.  Just to be clear here, I am NOT inferring that people that left are scum.  :-) Just the opposite, in fact.  Some of the people that left were my best friends and closest colleagues at I-I, and I will miss them dearly.  (Jeff, it's just not the same without you!)  The ‘scum' are the parts in all of us that are contracted, shadow elements, aspects of our being that we've outgrown, need to let go and embrace a new way of being.  And, as I'm sure most of you know, this is usually a painful process.  But that's just life giving us the feedback we need to evolve.

There has been some talk of more transparency and inclusion.  I hear that, and this is my personal move in that direction.  I would also like to say that it is painful for me, and the staff at I-I, to know that some of you feel like we do not care about the community, or ignore intentionally.  I/we feel like the community is what we are doing all of this for in the first place.  And I acknowledge that we have not always taken the time to share with all of you what we are doing, and the process that we're going through.  It's not that we don't care; it's just that we don't have the bandwidth.  But more and more, we are seeing the importance of staying more connected.  So we will do our best to explore new ways of communicating as we move forward on this Integral journey together.   

Another thing we like to say at I-I is, "Integral is a real thing."  What we mean by this is that Integral consciousness is real, and it's not necessary for Ken or I-I to be around for it to exist.  Ken has brilliantly articulated the Integral vision, but it's alive in each and every one of us.  So let's all work together, constructively, to help bring this gift to a world that desperately needs it. 

In that spirit, I would ask that all of you in the wider Integral community continue to give us feedback and share your perspectives.  It is all welcome.  I would also ask that you consider your underlying motivation for doing so.  What is the intention of the expression?  All of our intentions, thoughts, actions, bring energy into the world.  So let's all do our best to be conscious of what we're giving our energy towards building.  I like the Michelangelo quote that FLOW uses, "criticize by creating".

As I sit here at 4:30am, writing this, I am starting to think about how my lack of sleep might come into play when I have to wake up in a few hours to take care of my kids...  :-)  In fact, over the past few years, I've had to consider how all the time I focus on I-I is time away from my family.  What I came to realize is that working for I-I is the best way that I can see of giving my energy to something that can help create a world in which I want my kids to grow up in. 

So a deep bow to all of you for being a part of creating this new world.

With love,

Huy