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integral institute
August 2007 
Creating a new world together
Huy
Hello Friends,
I'd like to take this opportunity to share my perspective on what is happening at Integral Institute. I've been a member of Zaadz since the beginning, but this is the first post that I've made. This is partly due to being busy and partly due to being lazy... So I would like to thank everyone for their recent posts and interest in I-I that inspired me to write this. I would also like to apologize for the length, since it's now all coming out at once. :-)
First, a bit about me and how I got here. I've had the privilege, honor, and challenge of working with I-I for almost 4 years now in a variety of different capacities. I've been the CFO, COO, teacher at our seminars, and several other roles. I can't say that I've been perfect, but I've done my best to do whatever I can to help the organization develop and grow.
In this past 4 years, my wife and I also decided to start a family (we now have 2 kids - Sky & Shen) and buy/remodel our first house. So let's just say it's been a bit intense for a while now. You know the experience of looking at your to-do list of 10 top priority items for the day, and realizing you only have time to get like 3 or 4 actually done? Well, that's pretty much been the story of my life these past years. Thank god for practice.
But I wouldn't have it any other way, because I love it. All of it. I of course love my family. And I love all of the joy, chaos, turmoil, and opportunities for growth that I get working with I-I. I think I've always been a bit of an idealist who wants to help make the world a better place, but just never found something that inspired me enough to put all my energy into. That is, until I discovered Ken's books and I-I.
I still remember the feeling of when I first read Brief History of Everything, and so much became clear to me. It was almost like I had all the pieces to a puzzle, but didn't know what the picture was supposed to be. Then reading the book, it all just seemed to come together inside of me. I just felt more expanded, open, and able to take in more of the world - because now I could see how it all fit together. Everything just seemed to make sense to me.
One night I googled Ken, and discovered the I-I site. I read every word on that site, and stayed awake that night dreaming about the possibility of working at I-I. I didn't know Ken or anyone at I-I at the time, so I had no way of connecting. But I like to say that I was so inspired that I was able to access my good karma, because 6 months later I was sitting in Ken's loft, talking to him about his vision for I-I and how I could help.
Well, it's been quite a roller coaster ride since that time. And I'd say that the past few weeks have been the most ‘thrilling' yet. As most of you know, our CEO resigned, along with several other staff members. These events have spawned a variety of discussion around I-I, and generally speaking, it's pros and cons. I am choosing not to discuss any specific details from these circumstances. Rather, I'd like to share my perspective of what I feel is happening, from a more energetic level.
Sometimes at I-I, we like to say that, "we're helping to carve a new groove in the kosmos". I'm not sure if any of you have tried doing this, but it ain't easy... There is a lot of subtle resistance, in all 4 quadrants. At the same time, I can't imagine anything more worthwhile to be dedicated to. I feel extremely grateful that I have this opportunity to be an agent of evolution. And along with this, I feel that we bear a huge responsibility to do the best we can. Because we are not doing this just for ourselves, but for all of us.
For those of us that have chose/been chosen to play this particular part in the unfolding story of humanity, it feels like we are being purified for this role. A purification process involves purging out what no longer works, or is appropriate at the next level of growth. I spoke with my good friend, Brian Johnson, about this one night and he sent me this quote from Rumi: "This discipline and rough treatment are a furnace to extract the silver from the dross. This testing purifies the gold by boiling the scum away."
It feels to me like I-I, as an organization, is going through this process of purification. Just to be clear here, I am NOT inferring that people that left are scum. :-) Just the opposite, in fact. Some of the people that left were my best friends and closest colleagues at I-I, and I will miss them dearly. (Jeff, it's just not the same without you!) The ‘scum' are the parts in all of us that are contracted, shadow elements, aspects of our being that we've outgrown, need to let go and embrace a new way of being. And, as I'm sure most of you know, this is usually a painful process. But that's just life giving us the feedback we need to evolve.
There has been some talk of more transparency and inclusion. I hear that, and this is my personal move in that direction. I would also like to say that it is painful for me, and the staff at I-I, to know that some of you feel like we do not care about the community, or ignore intentionally. I/we feel like the community is what we are doing all of this for in the first place. And I acknowledge that we have not always taken the time to share with all of you what we are doing, and the process that we're going through. It's not that we don't care; it's just that we don't have the bandwidth. But more and more, we are seeing the importance of staying more connected. So we will do our best to explore new ways of communicating as we move forward on this Integral journey together.
Another thing we like to say at I-I is, "Integral is a real thing." What we mean by this is that Integral consciousness is real, and it's not necessary for Ken or I-I to be around for it to exist. Ken has brilliantly articulated the Integral vision, but it's alive in each and every one of us. So let's all work together, constructively, to help bring this gift to a world that desperately needs it.
In that spirit, I would ask that all of you in the wider Integral community continue to give us feedback and share your perspectives. It is all welcome. I would also ask that you consider your underlying motivation for doing so. What is the intention of the expression? All of our intentions, thoughts, actions, bring energy into the world. So let's all do our best to be conscious of what we're giving our energy towards building. I like the Michelangelo quote that FLOW uses, "criticize by creating".
As I sit here at 4:30am, writing this, I am starting to think about how my lack of sleep might come into play when I have to wake up in a few hours to take care of my kids... :-) In fact, over the past few years, I've had to consider how all the time I focus on I-I is time away from my family. What I came to realize is that working for I-I is the best way that I can see of giving my energy to something that can help create a world in which I want my kids to grow up in.
So a deep bow to all of you for being a part of creating this new world.
With love,
Huy
Access: Public
Huy, thanks for sharing your perspectives on this. will look forward for more transparency, not just in the LL/LR domain, but in the UL/UR domain as well. godspeed.
~C (for Clarity)
Well said - Peace, John
Huy,
One thing you wrote resonated with me strongly:
“I think I've always been a bit of an idealist who wants to help make the world a better place, but just never found something that inspired me enough to put all my energy into.”
Last monday right “Ken, I work for I-I because I have a lifestyle that allows me to focus on Practice, Study, and I work with my friend doing meaningful things. I couldnt be happier!”
Yes drama happens… especially when you get any group like this together. But I think many of the staff at I-I put this drama into perspective like I do. It comes with the terriotory. And its invaluable to the personal growth of each involved.
Beautiful, Huy! Very honest. This is why I fell in love with I-I. Thank you. I look forward to seeing what this and future purification processes bring. And I'm glad you said that the Integral vision is “alive in each and every one of us.”
BTW, I'm thrilled to see you and others adding “transparency” to this conversation. I believe it's hugely important to get the multi-perspectival nature of this thing, that's bigger than us all, out on the table.
Beautiful!
Those are wonderful pics of your kids. Very cute and very joyful!
And, thank you for sharing your experience.
Dear Huy,
Thank you for your message. I always know you guys are doing your best to serve a huge number of people with limited resources. I know it's not easy. I guess for me….i do know that i and many others were inspired by Ken's writing long before I-I came about. It's not the organization or how it is run that inspires me. I'm inspired by what Ken points me to in a way that few others have been able to convey with the same depth and fullness (to me anyway). I'm inspired by all of us who are doing our best to dream big, to do the hard work of creating the groove, and to serve, in the chaos of the unknown. An organizational structure is just a formality, a tool that can support. It is not the substance or the Source and it is optional.
With deep devotion and respect.
Venita
I too would like to thank your for opening up to those of us who really are passionate about I-I and it's success. In light of that I would life to offer you a couple of thoughts about how I-I could be even better…
1. Focus on the core goals, and really research how to make them happen in all quadrants. I think I-I's strenghts have previously been in the left quadrants. What do you need to do to bring those right quadrants up to snuff?
2. Focus on researching the needs line of development. Clarify what everyone needs to be healthy, (relatively) shadow-free , and developing smoothly. Use that knowledge to create an atmosphere of health, effectiveness, compassion, and growth within I-I's offices, in the greater community, and out in the rest of the world as well. It simply doesn't do the world all that much good to know that development exists, unless we know how to encourage it happen healthfully. I think the answer to that is studying human needs. (I'd be happy to offer my own research about needs, and how they relate to AQAL to I-I, if there is an interest.)
So, yeah, thanks for doing this, and I wish I-I much success!
Peace, Love, and Bicycles,
Turil
“… I would ask that all of you in the wider Integral community continue to give us feedback and share your perspectives. It is all welcome. I would also ask that you consider your underlying motivation for doing so. What is the intention of the expression?”
YES! This one act of considering our own underlying motivations holds enormous power.
Am I being transparent with myself with regard to my righteous demand for transparency?
If someone slipped me some veritus serum would I be shouting out things like,
“I worked really hard on that article/book, and now I'm scared it may not get published!”
“I was banking on I-I buying my services.”
“I had dreams of getting hired…”
“What's the point of starting this group if nobody from the 'inner circle' is gonna notice?”
“I thought Ken was gonna invite me to the loft,or maybe take me to a ballgame.”
We're all born with an achingly beautiful need to feel worthy and welcome.
Sometimes it gets included and transcended, and is evident in an increased capacity for caring and service.
Sometimes it gets hung up and morphs into a need to feel special.
“…I would also ask that you consider your underlying motivation for doing so. What is the intention of the expression?”
Can I own it?
If I can, I think it will ultimately serve me more than all the orginizational transparency or hugs from bald dudes put together.
Cori
Huy,
I feel your post is a perfect example of what’s most needed around integral philosophy and I-I, and that is healthy examples of what’s actually being marketed. It’s not enough to simply tell people that the map isn’t the territory. You guys seem to be pushing AQAL big time, while failing to equally address to the misconceptions going along with it.
It blows me away how much shadow projecting is going on in the name of integral philosophy. The worst culprit is spiral dynamics… can you see the reductionism in the way it’s often used?
Ken’s Wyatt Earp post… what was that!?!? Talk about throwing wood on the fire.
Aloofness, intimidation, interrogation, and poor me are all forms of attack on an energy level. Why steal water from another when you can drink for free?
Think about it for a second. How easy is it for you guys to see through people who are constantly nice to you? They might be nice and respectful to you, but what about the people they cast their shadow onto using the “integral” name?
Ken and the rest of you guys involved directly with I-I have a huge responsibility in addressing this stuff, because more and more you’re accumulating an influential clique following that isn’t necessarily at the same level of understanding.
You said a few things that resonated with me strongly. Here they are with comment.
I acknowledge that we have not always taken the time to share with all of you what we are doing, and the process that we're going through. It's not that we don't care; it's just that we don't have the bandwidth. But more and more, we are seeing the importance of staying more connected.
From my eyes, if you guys don’t stay more connected to the people you’re influencing with this integral movement it’s going to spiral out of control. Again, your post above is a perfect example of the type of connections that are needed.
I also believe your former CEO posted some perfect examples of what was needed at this point in time given the different factors involved. His honesty and openness are just nature’s way of trying to balance out some of the neglected blind spots left unattended. Despite what some people think, I feel his actions were both respectful and professional given the nature of I-I and the force in which it’s being pushed. The synchronicity of his blog posts with Ken’s illness was I’m sure unfortunate to some, but that just exemplified how some people protect Ken as if he’s always being maliciously attacked from lower levels of consciousness, when often that isn’t the case.
It reminds me of the Einstein quote “Highly developed spirits often encounter resistance from mediocre minds.” Hell that even means I’m a “highly developed” spirit! :)
Another thing we like to say at I-I is, “Integral is a real thing.” What we mean by this is that Integral consciousness is real, and it's not necessary for Ken or I-I to be around for it to exist.
You guys need to holler this out at the top of your lungs!!
People often give off the vibe that Ken Wilber invented integral consciousness. That’s how bad some mix map with territory.
What is the intention of the expression?
My intent expressed with a little urgency is to hopefully help things move in a healthier direction before its too late. Now that to late might be the disintegration of what you guys are trying to create or it might be in the direction that Einstein’s Special Relativity took when the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima.
As I finish this up, I’m reminded of how life often speaks in paradox. What appears big is small and what appears small is big… I think we can all reflect on that one.
Also, as I read back and turn this around on myself, it’s a cool perspective to take. I see the implications, but that doesn’t take away from there being a problem, it just gives it a multiple face. For growth in me and others, I’ll still post.
Thanks again for such a wonderful thing to read, I truly appreciate it. On that note I wish you and your loved ones a fantastic holiday season… cute kids by the way! :)
With love to all that read.
Gassho,
Seth
well said, bro.
And your kids rock. Talk about energy! :)
With love, conscious evolution and the sh*t it takes to make a seed grow!,
-bri
Dear Huy, When I met you I knew by heart and intuition that you are a great guy. Now after your magnificent sharing I KNOW.
Thanks a lot for commenting about I-I on going process. It is a real pleasure to have you there as an always lightened lighthouse.
THANKS & THANKS
It is an honour to have taken classes from you
A deep bow
Raquel from Madrid
I, too, appreciate the transparency.
Forrest Gump might say: “connectedness is as connectedness does”
You've done well, Huy. Peace and Blessings, Jim.